forgive is to remember without pain. Lectures on forgiveness.
Hello All:
Actually the phrase is
"Remembering is living again and forgive is to remember not feeling" . One day talking on the messenger with my friend David, the situations of life past and present who have lived and also have yet to apologize for damage that breach, I wrote the phrase
"To forgive is to remember without being" When we passed the stages of grief, (say grief losing a loved one, losing family, job loss, economic loss, etc) can be said that the process is completed when we forgive .
So, at least as I experienced, there are
premises today I look wrong to believe that we should be on forgiveness:
First: That to forgive you must forget. Today
not think so. Keep in mind the following, the memories of our minds are set on it for the excitement we felt at the time that happened, so much memories positive and negative, to return to relive moments in our imagination, rekindle the emotional feeling that we had at that time. Then
forgiveness is not forgetting, as we shall forget the significant damage to life, precisely, do not forget never to repeat these patterns, if one day we were attacked on the street, of course not forget that and take precautions so that will not happen again to us.
Second: That you should forgive the faster the better.
One can not resolve a situation at the same mental and emotional state in which this occurred , if forgiveness is the final phase, then we to go through the other stages: denial, anger, sadness, acceptance. Each of these stages have a time, so true forgiveness takes time.
Third: You take responsibility for the damage.
Some people do not forgive because they believe that by forgiving the other person fails to take responsibility for what he did, if the other person has to cover, for example, a sentence in jail for the damage we did, that, eventually has to happen,
forgiveness, not to remove the consequences that the other must live for the damage.
Fourth: It is a bilateral process.
forgiveness are involved in many resentment by the fact happened, and as I mentioned in other entries, resentment is poison that only affects us and not to those who hurt us, that is why working resentments, we can find forgiveness. Father Ignacio Larrañaga has a phrase:
If we knew would be needed to understand not forgive .
understand the situation where the other person was very helpful, because in many cases, we may discover that you did not intend to do that damage, which was in a state in which there was no other choice but to react as he did.
Forgiveness means that we make a commitment
with ourselves where we will no longer be under increasing recall the fact that we will stop us harm, the harm is that we do not approve what the other did, but if we pass to constantly whip, Would not it be better to leave do?
painful situation left us a lesson, but without it, today, we would not be the people we are.
I send a big, big hug.
Sources:
Salvador Valadez, Ignacio Larrañaga, Rosy Sandoval, experience.
Related Phrases:
understand
If we knew we would not need forgiveness.
Remembering is living again and forgive is to remember without feeling.
